Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
