i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You pole danced in your parka.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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