Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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