i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
