So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
