Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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