rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
