Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
