I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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