He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
