508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
