Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
