porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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