I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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