normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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