My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
