Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
