found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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