Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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