Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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