I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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