dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
