question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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