He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
