hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
