I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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