Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
