You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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