I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
