Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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