they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
