C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
