Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
