The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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