Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
