Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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