How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
