oh god the rape fog is back!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
