No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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