Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
