I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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