i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
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