We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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