I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
