WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
