I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
