just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
