do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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