Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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