big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
