one word: firstdatebathroomanal
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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