Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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