once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
