She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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