HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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