I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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