you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just invented taco cereal.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
