You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
