my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
