so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Is Oprah even human
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
