No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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