you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm getting married
To pizza
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
